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New routines, new and old languages and decisions about art school.

Art easel in a classroom
Art easels in a class, stock photo

Looks like i have a new routine although very unintentional. Why do i find myself up at 2am soo much these days? What languages am i studying now? what did i decide about art school you ask? well read on to my ramblings to find out.

It's still dark outside and a low haze of smoke hovers in the air, accentuated by the street lamps. For whatever reason i decided it was a good time to practice my spoken italian so have been basically just talking to myself as i go over some vocabulary.

My neighbours must think i'm crazy if they can hear me.

"non posso dormo perché sono andato a dormire alle sette. E il due. Allora, sono impare la mia italiana."

Most of the time i don't really know if what i am saying will be understood by anyone. I figured the more practice, the more my mouth will get used to making the sounds. That maybe making my brain come up with a line of thought in a different language will help it stick better.

Picture of buildings along the river in Florence
Florence from a window in Uffizi Museum

I get asked all the time why i even bother. There's two reasons: I like the sound of it and how it feels in my mouth as i speak it. It is very melodic and is almost like a dance in your mouth. the second is, it inspires me. when i think (or try) in a new language i always find it sparks my creative side. It is like looking at the world through a child's eyes again. It is also why i had such hard time with a structured course for my French. Id go traspsing off on some creative side track because some word sparked an ember then a few hrs later id be scrambling to get my homework done and handed in. Rushing that homework never did me any benefit. I never retained much of it really except that parts id go chasing after in my diversions. So slow and steady is what works best for me.

Beyond the fact i like to learn new things those are the reasons why.

I also have come to a conclusion about art school. After requesting a call back or email from 3 options and speaking to the councilors there it gave me a lot to think about.

*I must note here how proud of myself I am for not just pulling the pin on everything and just doing it. I tend to be a very impatient person and once i have a direction to go i tend to steam into it head long with no real thought of consequence. Me of years past would not take into consideration what it might look like in the long term or how to plan to do thing in stages or steps to not completely financially ruin myself. I sit here now because of a rash decision in a moment and one hr later having 3 suitcases packed, all my belongs sorted for sale and buying a bus ticket to my current city. I had no place to live and only one connection. It did end up working out but i digress.

Two of these schools would require me to attend in person mostly. It would require me to quit my day job and move. I would not be eligible for a student loan or any sort of assistance right away so that would mean i would have to work at the same time too. Is it doable yes with a bit of planning i could probably make it work.

The other option would be through distance learning. I could do all of it online except the studio hrs. I could maintain my current job and this would be the less invasive option. I could work with a group to achieve my studio hrs through life experience and creating a final portfolio.

At the end of the day i had to really sit and think about what i was trying to achieve. Why does the option of school appeal to me? Although a degree is always a good thing to have, is it something i need to do what i want at this point? at the end of the day I don't think that is my main goal just yet. I want to go simply because it would allow me a more focus study and improvement of my skill.

So the third option came off the table. Those studio hrs would be my main goal so choosing an option without that would not fit for me.

The other two options really would fit better, except the more i looked at it, the more i realized that the root goal in the end was to free up more time. More time to pursue the educational aspect of it. I already do pursue that. I use most of holidays and free time in that endeavour already. I guess it really comes down to I want to be able to take the time without taking more time away from home.

Being a single mother and putting myself through school once i know the time it takes away from home. I had a student loan then and child care subsidy and i still had to work a full time job to cover costs. Factoring in the cost of living, child care, etc. I can see how that balance would take so much more of my time away from home. At this point I don't think that's what i want.

So i am taking a course geared more towards my digital stuff instead. I can do it through distance learning and the credits I get can then be put towards my first year of a bachelor's if i wanted to go that route some day. It allows me to maintain the balance i have now with work, home and my independant art education ventures.

Although I am not going from point A to B I feel good having made a decision either way. If my path is point A to point C then at some point coming back around to point B then so be it. It is what works best for me at this point. who knows maybe by the time i get through this, point B might not even be my target destination.

So that brings on the second language. The first course I am tackling is English. although it is my native language, the grammatical aspect has never been my strong suit. My brain tends to have an easier time with numbers and science. Even writing this i am sure you can see i tend to write the way I speak. So taking a university level English has already got me asking why would i do this to myself. Will I pass it? yes but it will require work and frustration on my part. I wish it was more towards the literary side than grammatical but I am sure I can use it in my day to day. If it only helps here to improve my writing, then it is not a wasted venture.

I have also sorted my time line for my art projects. If my brain wakes me at 2 am tomorrow i will go over further what that looks like. I have added a mini project collaborating with a musician friend. I have a series of interviews that i will be creating a few pieces from and he will be creating the music to my pieces. I took on a random 6 month art challenge i seen on youtube. It's called the Alphabet superset hosted by youtuber @struthless. I have my idea and now just have to figure out where i am going to fit it in and work through developing the details of it further. More about that another day though.

Off to the English i go before i have to get ready for work.

If i finish up this section in the time I set aside for it i might even get a quick sketch in this morning.

Jackie ❤️

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