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Imposter syndrome

Updated: Jun 2

A watercolor vulture sitting on a cactus

What exactly is imposter syndrome? It sounds like some dreadful illness you caught on the metro at rush hr. But alas it is much more insidious.

Imposter syndrome is where you feel like you don't belong with those nouns that describe people.

Artist, musician, writer, founder, entrepreneur. Whatever your particular noun may be.

For me it took a long time to be able to call myself an artist. In my mind I was a student of art. I was just learning and felt like I hadn't "arrived" yet.

But what did that mean? In my mind because my art wasn't the primary source of income for me I felt like I hadn't arrived to where I could call myself an artist. Where by calling myself an artist I'd have to face the wrath of the masses.

Melodramatic I know but in my brain that was what I thought.

Then one day it dawned on me. I was an artist, a writer, or a dreamer by the simple fact that I do those things.

The only thing that mattered was the pronoun.

I could be a bad, good, fun, funny, moody, satirical, aspiring, learning, artist, writer, musician and all the other things I do.

But here's where the power of the mind kicks in I have control over that pronoun. I can learn. I'm not destined to be doomed in the sludge of unfulfilled dreams.

I have horrible grammar (in English French and Italian) but I can learn. It may take me hrs upon hrs to edit the simplest of things but I can learn. If I can't learn thank heavens for awesome editors to help guide and teach you.

I can't master a technique? I can practice. There is no time limit for when I need to get it I have time, I can practice.

For music I find it a little bit harder. Once I started learning I realized there was so much I didn't know. I haven't had the 20 or so years to slowly pick away at these things and the tick of the clock feels like it's taunting me. Then I remind myself who are you doing this for?

For myself of course, do I enjoy what I've accomplished in the last year? I can say I truly have. So don't sweat the rest.

The simple quote of Rene Descartes

Cogito, ergo sum or I think therefore I am

Pretty much sums it up. Although you have to take it from the intended purpose of proving existence through philosophy and apply it to your ventures we can say

I think i am an artist therefore I am

I think i am writer therefore I am

And etc and turn this into our mantras.

Nouns define us oh but those juicy pronouns are where we flourish.

Jackie ❤️

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